I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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