How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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