You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
