I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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