Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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