We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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