You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
