My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
