TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Randomize
