oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
