My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
