the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
