Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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