Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
