i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
