He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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