so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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