Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
