garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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