I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
