He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
