Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
