real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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