I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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