look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
