2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
