if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize