I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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