You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
