dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
