I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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