it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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