I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
