you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
