he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
