I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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