Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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