five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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