She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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