There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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