I need help removing her.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
