Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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