I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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