You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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