She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
