I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
