remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
