I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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