I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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