Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
