I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
