Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
