We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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