It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
