It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
