I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
