his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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