i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
