Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im holly from the hills drunk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
