i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i think i have two assholes
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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