Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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