If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
