What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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