xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
