if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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