I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
