Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You pole danced in your parka.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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