if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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