why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
