I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm at about main and main street
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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