Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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