I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
