Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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