all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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