Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
