I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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