Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
