Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
