just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
