so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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