blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
