This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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