I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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