So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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