belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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